Yep, it's me. I am alive. Who would have guessed. And I am also fat. No surprise there though.
I hope you have been well, my Internet friends. I have not been here in quite some time as I have been a drunk bastard for many months now. And I also work all the time. Honestly all I do is work and drink. I get drunk every other day. Due to all the alcohol and hungover binging I am now back to where I started. Fat and disgusting and alcoholic at that.
I hate myself. I hate everyone around me. I hate my job, It's horrible. At night when I go to sleep I think about dying and more specifically killing myself. Everything is too much.
I slept with three of my colleagues. Two of whom have girlfriends. Go me. I didn't know that at the time, but does it really matter. The third, well another colleague was in love with him. Before I told her the whole story.
I have gained much weight. I don't fit in my clothes anymore. I don't take care of myself. I don't even shower with days. I disgust myself. I look terrible and I feel even worse. I also suck at my job.
I need for something to happen so that I snap out of this.
Help me. Please. I don't know how much longer I can do this.
you are not fat and disgusting. you also can get right off the alcohol wagon. it may be hard but it's worth it. being Muslim, i've never had a drink so i don't know what you're up against. what i do know is you can do it. cause i don't doubt the things that you can do.
ReplyDelete"I didn't know that at the time, but does it really matter" yes, it does, because they deceived you. they did not disclose full information before you slept with them.
you do need to take care of yourself. you do not suck at your job either. i say this because if you do suck, they probably would've fired you.
you can do this, love. you can help yourself out of this. this doesn't have to be how things are.
take care of yourself, alright? best as you can. you deserve that much. you do not deserve to be in this mess.
- Sam Lupin
Please try to take care of yourself. Alcohol has been an increasing problem for me too over the past few months (ever since I stopped smoking synthetics, really). Addiction is truly an awful beast. I hope things start improving for you soon <3
ReplyDeletexxxx