Eat less.

And you will lose weight. That is what it is.

I have been battling with my weight and eating habits my whole life, literally since I was 7 years old and what is the one constant thing for all those years? Whenever I eat less I do lose weight. It always works. In fact that is the only thing that works. That's my truth.

On that note I am now 147.2lbs. I don't know how that's happened since I started having a bit of beer after work, but I am really, really happy about it. I still try to eat just once a day and I mostly stick to it. However the past couple of days I realised that I am feeling a lot more peckish. I am thinking that time of the month is upon us again, but I still am trying to not give in and eat the doughnuts. All the doughnuts...

I also realised that I am genuinely afraid of gaining any weight, be it 0.2 or 2 lbs. It really frightens me and I don't know why it has become even worse now that I am actually down to a healthy weight and BMI. Which I couldn't be happier about. I am now officially in the healthy range. No longer overweight. This fills me with a warm feeling, and it's peaceful. Well, the first 5 minutes thinking about it. After that I start imagining gaining it back on or staying the same and I am right back at that terrible, terrible uncertainty that is a constant companion.
It's ok though, I just have to push through it.

Nothing else happening in my life really. Still absolutely terrified of my job and failure at it. Still hopelessly crushing on my manager and that's about it. I am getting sick, so you know no fun there. At least let's hope I won't have appetite. My head is a mess, my body is getting a little better. There's a chance that I won't look like an ugly blob soon. Keep your fingers crossed. I really need something be go right.  

I hope all you lovelies are doing good and wishing you a great weekend.
Lots of hugs.
-A.