That is what I kept telling myself yesterday, but I didn't make it. Around 6 pm I started eating and by 9 I had ended up with a total of 2500 - 3000 kcals for the day. I guess it's PMS, but do the reasons really matter?
Now it was not a typical binge for me, because I didn't just eat everything I saw as fast as I could. I just kept a slow and steady pace of eating bad foods that usually make me uncomfortable. I can't really explain what happened. It was like I was watching myself eat and I was not thinking at all. It was really strange. For breakfast and lunch I had 700 kcals, then 6 pm - 2 sandwiches with sauce (800 kcals), a bit of crisps (300), ice-cream 300 kcals, some cheese (200 - 300 kcals) with wine( 200? kcals) and a bunch of nuts (300- 400 kcals). So in matter of (3) hours I ate more than I have eaten for the last 4-5 days. I am sad and ashamed and mainly disappointed with myself. I don't seem to have gained any weight, still 157.4 lbs, at least something good to this whole depressing business.
My mother really pisses me off. She won't stop commenting on my weight and the things I eat. It's just so unnerving.
I've been called for another interview in person this time. It's on Tuesday and I'm meeting with a manager. Within a week after the interview I will be notified if I'm hired. I'm so nervous. The other interview via Skype was kind of ok, the man told me that he was left with a positive first impression, but to be honest I completely mucked up the technical part of the interview. Since then I have been reading up on things and I'm a bit more prepared, but still very nervous.
When I told my mother I've been called for a second interview she told me to put on tightening underwear, so they don't think I'm pregnant. What the hell, mother, what the hell.
If any of you want to put a face to the written words here's my personal instagram - . I don't really post food related things on there, but if any of you are curious you can check it out. (I will probably delete the user name later, or tomorrow.)
I hope your weekend was good and you managed to distress. Wishing you a positive and productive new week. Hugs :)
- A.
i got my period on Sunday too. ew.
ReplyDeletethat is so weird. reminds me, however, of the times where i'm just coming off binging. i feel the same way i do with a binge, but i eat slow, and for some reason, i have to have something in my hands??? idek. it's like i'm eating normally but as soon as it's done, i HAVE to get something else.
"tightening underwear." wtf
i'm wishing you good luck with these interviews. i hope you get a job soon! i totally missed your personal Ig post. i'm not on Ig much, but i do want to put a face to your writing!
-Sam Lupin